Sweetie-pie

Oops!

My last post was a draft since  November 2012 a little after I found out my now ex husband was cheating on me. He had ask for a divorce and lied through his teeth about the other woman. I did not mean to post it now. I was trying to delete it. Does not matter any more. He actually did me big favor.

 Those aren't even my words. They were off a site about why people cheat. I agree with them. I did try to make my marriage work. I am not sure why I did. He made me miserable the last 3 years of our marriage. It was a relief when it was over.

Once I really decided to pursue my interests, making friends, getting healthy, things began to really change for the better. I am so much happier. So much more interesting since I cool do some really activities, not just watch sports. Lost 40 pounds need to lose 40 more, maybe this spring....  But does not matter I have someone that thinks I am AWESOME  just the way I am.

YUP!

Here's the truth.  Your husband's affair has less to do with you (or even with her) than you think.  Often, an affair is a man's way to restore his self esteem or something that is broken within him.  Very often, the mistress was just at the right place at the right time.  It's more a matter of timing than anything else.  There's nothing special about her.  In fact, over 85% of cheating husbands admitted in a study that the other woman was not more attractive or more alluring than their wives. 

So, what does she have that you don't have?  She doesn't live in the real world! She doesn't have to pick up your husband's dirty socks or make his meals.  She likely doesn't demand a lot from your husband.  She's all fun without any sacrifice. She doesn't have to worry about the bills or running the household.  She can present herself as a fun diversion with no strings attached. 

Here's the problem; facing off with the other woman often doesn't always yield these results. Think about it! You are not dealing with a caring, rational woman. The very fact that she is involved with a married man suggests that she lacks character or a compassionate side and it certainly suggests that she is all about her needs and desires. Often times the other woman will use this opportunity to divulge details of the affair and cause you more pain, remember; she wants your husband and your life. This woman is typically not going to show remorse or make promises to "leave your family alone". The woman attempting to steal your husband is dishonest, spiteful, uncaring and has an agenda of her own; rarely are you going to gain satisfaction from dealing with such a twisted, selfish person. It's not unusual that confronting the other woman or seeking revenge on her will backfire and leave you feeling worse then you did before the confrontation. Think long and hard about your reasons for confronting her or seeking revenge before you put any plans into action. If we are able to think clearly and take our emotions out of the equation it's easier to conclude that she just isn't worth it!. And he isn't either.  he's a cheater, liar, etc....

Patrick

We're having fun getting to know each other.  Very strange to be  starting all over again, but pretty good and FUN!

I Wish

I look GREAT

Throwing away the past....

So I am clearing out cupboards and drawers to sell my once "dream house".  What to do with all the ticket stubs saved to make a bar top....Throw them away.... Cards anniversary, birthday Valentines....mean nothing anymore.  Feels like one big lie.  Very strange numb feeling.  I guess scrub away the past to have a bright shining future?